Season 2013-14

This page contains reviews of games (and the odd bit of the news) so far this season.
We watch all games live and in full at the Zeitgeist pub in Vauxhall, London  – see our Venue page more details. Hope to see you there!


Matchday 34. FC St Pauli  2(2) – 2(1)  FC Erzgebirge Aue. Sun. 11 May. 14:30.
It’s the end of the season and Fußball Gott, Fabian Boll, will be back from injury to lead out the boys in brown for his last game before retirement, so expect a good send-off. We also say goodbye, and good luck, to there’s only one ‘F’in Fin Bartels , who is off to join Werder Bremen next season, and also to Florian Mohr and Kevin Schindler. But let’s not be sad. Win or lose, it’s all the same. It’s time to party!
Win or lose…or draw 😉 Pauli are fiirst on the scoresheet when Nothe right-foots the ball home following a sweet pass from Maier (14min). Aue snatch one back when Kocer leaves Nehrig on his coxis and slots the ball past Tschauner (28min).  Pauli retake the lead 10mins later, and this time it is Maier who gets in on the action with a right-footer into the Veilchen onion sack (38min) – in spite of the violet’s coach turning purple with rage, complaining they had a player down injured. Mmmm. So half time arrives and, as we all know, football is a game of two halves and it ain’t over until the final whistle etc blah blah. So in the 68min the violets pot the brown with their second. er what? Oh does it matter. Win or lose etc. Boll and Bartels come off to be replaced by the other two leavers of the day – Mohr and Schindler. The flags and placards are out for Boll as he takes his leave of the pitch. It’s getting emotional as the time ticks down to the end of the game, which it does without any added time. And then it’s the celebrations and a chance to say goodbye to the FC St Pauli legend that is Fabian Boll.

Placard of the week (spotted at the Millerntor):  FußBoll Gott! (genius)

Matchday 33.    1FC Köln  4(3)-(0)0  FC St Pauli  Sun. 04 May. 14:30.
FCSP take a trip to Cologne to face the 2Bundesliga champions. Neither have anything to play for. So relax…
But not too much! Köln take control in the first half, making space for their strikers, stretching the Pauli defence and creating all the chances. The first goal comes – as do the other two in the first half – from the right side of the box; this one a shot that nutmegs Tschauner (first game back from injury) in the 13min. Unlucky for Kapitan Kalla, an attempted cross from the right across the box hits him and shoots past the sprawling Tachauner. Eigentor. Ka-lla-tastrophe! The third goal comes from another shot in from the right, just before half time. In the second half, Pauli press forward but the Köln Joker gets the fourth (63min). A soft penalty awarded to billy-goats spells doom but Tschauner saves (71min)! Fabian Boll is brought on as sub and it’s good to see him back. More chances begin to fall for Pauli but the break-through doesn’t come. The billy-goats win convincingly, no kiddin’.

Guest smell of the week: Oh der Cologne 😦

Matchday 32.    FC St Pauli  0(0)-(1)3  VfR Aalen   Sun.  27 Apr.  12:30
Pauli’s poor home run continues in a sunny Hamburg. Aalen go ahead within 3 mins, get the second from the penalty spot in the 58min and the third in 68min. A fourth is ruled out whilst five yellow cards are handed out to the boys in brown. 😦

Guest compoundword of the week: Kaltsonnenschein (cold sunshine). GrrrBrrrr.

Matchday 31 .  FC Energie Cottbus  1(0)-(0)1  FC St Pauli    Thu. 17 Apr. 17:30
The pre-amble: Pauli are 6 points off the play-off promotion spot. But do we care about that? Cottbus are 7 points below the play-off relegation spot, and are holding up league: they need to win to keep up any hope of staying up. It could be anyone’s game. Oh dear 😉
The amble: But even before the game started Pauli were forced to replace the replacement goalkeeper Himmelmann, who injured himself during the warm up, with the no.3 no.1 Heerwagen. The game itself turned out to be a disappointment for both teams as they failed to take the chance to improve their respective positions. It was not until the second half that a chance on goal was taken when Thy right-footed the ball home from Buchtmann (60min). Verhoek looked to have scored Pauli’s second but the replay clearly showed that the ball hit the bottom of the crossbar and bounced away from the goal line. With 3mins to go it looked like Pauli would take 3 points but the ref deemed that Maier had fouled inside the box and awarded Cottbus a penalty: Banovic ran up, stopped for a bit to mull things over, started running again and put the ball past the wrong-footed Heerwagen who had strayed miles off his line (87min). The last 5mins were frantic in the Pauli box but the game ended with the teams getting only 1 point apiece. On the yellow card front, Buchtmann picked up his 13th of the season, Maier picked up his first, whilst Nehrig picked up a fifth and so misses the next game.

Guest phrase of the week (care of g-translate): auf leer (running on empty). Energy and Relentess (energy drink) cancel each other out…

Matchday 30.    FC St. Pauli  2(1) – (1)3  1.FC Kaiserslautern      Fri. 11 Apr. 17:30
A poet once said that April is the cruellest month. On seeing this they might have added, ‘and the 11th April is the cruellest matchday of the season for the kiezkickers’.  It was a hotly contested game, with 8 yellow cards (3-5), 5 goals(2-3), and heartache (29,000-0) [I’m guessing]).  Pauli needed to address their poor home form this season if they were to improve their chance of gaining the playoff promotion spot: FCK were also looking for a chance to leap-frog over FCSP and improve their chances of reaching that self-same place.  The game kicked off with pace but any structure was broken up by the numerous fouls flying in – with FCK getting two yellows in the first 14mins. And it was in the 14min that Verhoek scored for Pauli with a header from a cross by Rzatkowski. FCK fought back though and in the 31min they gained a free kick from which Lakic pitched the ball into the net. 1.F*CK indeed! The second half started with chances for both teams. But it was the visitors who broke the deadlock on 61mins, when Karl nodded the ball in under the crossbar. 2.F*CK!  To add to this misery Tschauner was forced to leave the field in the 72min with an injury (a dislocated shoulder that will put him out of action for a while). 3.F*CK!  It all looked over as the 90mins loomed but, with only 1min to go, Maier shot on goal, the ball hit the post, and Kringe headed home the rebound. Woo hoo. All we needed to do was hang on…for…for…5mins of added on time. 5mins? 5mins! Never seen the like – 2mins is customary. But 5mins. But hey, Pauli did hang for 5mins. The game was over. Except that for some reason it wasn’t, of course.  Nor did it end in the 6min. And then, surprise, FCK scored with ‘the last touch of game’ in the 97min. 4.F*CK’s sake! We wuz robbed etc.

Google translation of the week: einer über dem Grenzwert (one over the limit)

Matchday 29.  SV Sandhausen  2(0) – (0)3  FC St. Pauli.   Sat. 05 Apr. 12:00
(Said in a David Coleman-type voice imitating Alan Partridge) “Well, errrrr, it was, quite literally, a game of two halves”. The first half ended with a sigh of relief. Nothing happened during the break. Which was slightly more entertaining than the play in the preceding 45mins. Things livened up 5mins into the second half with a goal to SV by Blum (bloomin’ ‘ell, indeed: a fine shot it must be said). Against all hope, Pauli get an equaliser. Back in the game. Only for a some last man defender faffing to lose the ball and allow SV to regain the lead. Against all hope, again, Pauli equalise. What the hell is going on here? So there’s hope we may get a point of this, when Pauli go and score again. Pauli in the lead with 10 mins to go?! OK, we may yet get a point out of this 😉 10mins turns into 13…but the whistle blows and there is celebration. A fantastic effort from the boys in brown. Oh, you guys!!!! 🙂

Guest phrase of the week: Klopfen über den Sand Haus (knocking over the sand-house)

Matchday 28.  FC St. Pauli  2(0) – (0)2  SpVgg Greuther Fürth   Fri. 28 Mar. 17:30
Whew. With Pauli’s poor home form and Fürth still chasing Köln for top spot, it was anybody’s game 😉 Inexplicably, this was a testy, tetchy contest with no less than 10 yellow cards handed out: 4 of them to Pauli – Buchtmann (his 12th of the season), Gonther (8), Schindler (2), Schachten (4).  It was Schacthen who got Pauli’s first pouncing on a rebound from a defender and shooting on goal – with just a suspicion or two of being off-side (66min). But Fürth went forth and took the lead – first with a header from Röcker (75min) and three minutes later with another header, this time from Azemi (78min).  With time running out it looked like Pauli’s poor home record would continue but in the 85min Thorandt used his chest to good effect and got the late equalizer. Phew.

Guest term of the week: Später Ausgleich (late equaliser)

Matchday 27.    SC Paderborn  3(1) – 0  FC St. Pauli  Tue. 25 Mar. 16:30 
In a week of fixture madness called an ‘English Week’ (‘cos the english leagues always play all days of the week higgley-piggley or something like that), 3rd played 4th in a ‘six-pointer’ with the possibility of Pauli leap-frogging the Westphalians into the play off spot. In spite of some good away form it was not going to be easy. From the off, a pressing Paderborn pressured Pauli hard – an overhead bicycle kick from Saglik just went wide;  Tschauner then saved a point-blank shot on goal with his face (requiring some medical treatment – ie a wad of tissue up his hooter) and then later prevented a low shot from going into goal by doing the splits and deflecting the ball with a outstretched foot.  The tempo was getting testy, however, and the Ref tried to calm things down by handing out 4 yellow cards in the space of 12 minutes.  But he also failed to give a stone-wall penalty to Pauli and, in the 41st minute, in what suspiciously looked like an offside position (but I am advised was not), Saglik ignored the Pauli appeals and slotted the ball home. (Yes, this is the Saglik that had joined Pauli from Paderborn when Schubert moved from there to manage the boys in brown. Apparently, he was always passionate about Paderborn and didn’t enjoy his time in Hamburg). So, at the start of the second half, the game looked far from over. It still looked far from over when Meha scored Paderborn’s second in the 46min with a mighty shot from outside box that curved inside the far post: unstoppable, it must be admitted. What cannot be admitted is that it was ever a penalty that the Ref generously awarded to Paderborn in the 61st min. No contact was made in a self-made Paderborn prat-fall on the edge of the box. So Saglik sauntered up to shoot into the goal and sink the pirates.  More chances followed for either side – with Pauli managing to bulge the onion sack: sadly the object turned out to be birthday-boy Verhoek who ran onto, but missed, the ball which went harmlessly by whilst he careered into the back of the net. A frustrating game, with some dodgy decisions.

Desultory dodgy song title of the week: ‘(Pader)Born to Run’

Matchday 26.  FC St. Pauli  0 – 0 FC Ingolstadt   Sat. 22 Mar. 12:00.
What is there to say about this game? Ingolstadt hit the post, once. In summary, it was the equivalent of an accident scene, with police tape fluttering around it in the breeze, and a lone bobby advising the onlookers to “Move along folks, there’s nothing to see here.” Still, a clean sheet is a clean sheet and all that: it means that Pauli are 4th in the table, 1 point adrift of the play off spot. Update: Sadly, there’s only one ‘F’in Fin Bartels suffered knee-knack and will be out for three games 😦 Get well soon Fin!

Guest Word of the Week: Steppenläuferspiel (Tumbleweed-game)

Matchday 25. Fortuna Düsseldorf  0 (0) –  (1) 2 FC St. Pauli.  Sun. 16 Mar. 12:30.
What is there to say about this game? Too much for your lazy hack to write about that’s for sure. Impressive defending and attacking from Pauli. The first goal, from Maier in the 24min, came from a sweet pass from Nothe down the left side of the penalty area and Maier left-footing it at a tight angle to the near post beyond the reach of the sprawling goalie into the far side. Neat. It was touch and go stuff though, but the boys in brown held their own in defence. As the game wore on, and Fortuna failed to penetrate, techiness grew in with them accusing Pauli of time wasting (in fact, there is a new tendency to take the ball to the corner flag near the end of games).  Cards flowed. Fortuna became more desperate as the clock ticked down, with the goalie venturing way out of his box to stall counter attacks. The first time nearly proved fatal, as a shot was made almost from the half way line – but the ball went tantalisingly by the far post. However, within seconds, the approach did prove fatal: coming too far out, das Joker, Thy, rounded the goalie and slotted the ball away (90+4)! If at first you don’t succeed, it’s Thy again! Fantastisch.

Made up lyric of the week: “If you’re sitting at home with your PC / Or watching the game in the Z / It’s three points to Pauli / When the clock strikes ninety / And Thy beats the goalie” to the tune/chorus of ‘Everything Stops for Tea

Matchday 24.   FSV Frankfurt 1 (1) – (0) 0 FC St. Pauli.   Sun. 9 Mar. 12:30.
Hot dog 😦 Pauli miss a chance to go second in the table (for a day at least) whilst the Frankfurters relish the chance to roll up the table and away from the relegation spots. The first half is largely uneventful, apart from the home-side’s saucey goal in the ninth minute – a suspect pass that somehow passes everyone and curls cruelly inside the far post – and a couple of yellows for the boys in brown. Pauli pick up the pace in the second but a goal will not come. When Trybull picks up a second yellow in the 84min, and with Pauli reduced to 10 men, it looks like Pauli won’t ketchup and that the Frankfurter’s onion-sack mayo never bulge. It doesn’t, and the wurst is realised 😦

Misheard lyric of the week:  “Hot dogs, surely not, beat St Pauli” (cf King of Rock and Roll by Prefab Sprout  1min 5 secs in)

Matchday 23. FC St. Pauli 2 (0) – (0) 1 FC Union Berlin. Mon. 3 Mar. 19:15 (UK)
Woo Phew! In a veritable six-pointer for fourth or sixth place (blah blah) Pauli break the recent home curse (three losses in a row and no goals scored) to steam ahead of ‘The Irons’. The game was a bit flat in the first half but the heat was turned up in the second with chances coming and going, and with Tschauner having a busy day at the office. As it was, it was ‘The Irons’ that pressed ahead in the 58min – but only for Schachten to cool the visitor’s celebrations with an unstoppable equaliser 3mins later (that’s 61min, clock-watchers!). FINally though – and wait for it, wait for it – it was there’s only one ‘F’ in Fin Bartels who, coming on as sub, pulled the plug on ‘The Irons’ with the match winner in the 88min! Yes, it was ‘Der Joker’ (trans. a sub that comes on and scores) that had the last laugh 😉 No wonder Bremen want Fin next season 😦

Paralytic Lyric of the Week: “U can’t catch us, we’ve gone past Union” cf Part of The Union by The Strawbs

Matchday 22. SG Dynamo Dresden 1 (1) – (1) 2 FC St. Pauli. Sun.23 Feb. 12:30 (UK)
Woo hoo! The results for the return leg of the season now read: drawn one, lost one, one won! The statistics for previous meetings may have favoured the saxons but we say pooh-sticks to stat-trickticks! Instead the result echoed that of Pauli’s home win over SGD earlier in the season. There were chances for both sides during the game but of course it is goals that count and it was Pauli that got there first with a sweetly directed header into the bottom right corner of the goal from the, erm, head of Kringe (35mins). Oh yes. Oh no, SGD grab an equaliser in the 44min when they are the quickest to pounce on a failed clearance from a free kick. Pooh-kicks. But it is in the 48min that Pauli take the lead again, this time from a free kick on the edge of the SGD penalty area, as Halstenberg super-hoofs the dead ball right into the goal leaving everyone open-mouthed – see it here.  There are more chances for both sides but it is with relief that the final whistle blows.

Guest Word of the Week: Auswärtsangstgegnerüberwindung 🙂

PS/Aftermath: Sadly there were two reported violent incidents of unprovoked attacks on the team and fans following the game. In the first the Pauli team bus was attacked whilst going through the streets on the way home, with the bus having to be taken out of commission and a replacement bus found. In the second a FC St Pauli bar in Dresden and those inside it were attacked by carloads of hoolies and had to close. 😦

See also general comment on St Pauli UK fans message board here

Matchday 21.  FC St Pauli  0 (0) – (1) 1 Bochum. Sat 15th Feb. 12:00 (UK)
The crisp winter sun shon brightly upon the Millerntor faithful but it brought little comfort to them as they saw the boys in brown blow another 3 points (their third home defeat in a row, conceding 6 goals whilst not netting one themselves, stats lovers).  What to say, what to do? Overall, Pauli seemed out of shape, losing the ball frequently in mid-field, whilst Bochum were s(t)olid in defence and were be able to hold onto the ball for matters of seconds: when they weren’t, they displayed a masterclass in ref-fooling with a farrago of feigned-fouls and fatal face-hurt (don’t worry dear reader, the player was able to rise, Lazarus-like, once play had stopped and the Pauli assault in the penalty area diffused), and of time-wasting: the time taken for the three substitutions would have seen major civilizations rise and fall: the players barely moving as they left the field, as they were no doubt being carried off on the backs of snails. Be that as it may, neither side really threatened the other’s goal: even when Bochum had two men running side-by-side on goal they contrived to chest the ball to the oncoming Tschauner (to be fair, they probably were wondering whether to feign/faint/flounce/fall etc). But hey, the facts ‘n’ stats are that Bochum managed to get a goal early on from a corner: the ball dropped in low to Bochum’s Eyolfsson who swiped at it and missed, the ball going through his legs and hitting the hapless Kalla behind him where the ball careered off to the far post and in (there being no one at the far post to defend corners).  Well that was how I saw it (through a stuttering internet connection) but reports say it was a timely touch from Eyolfssson that beat Kalla (and of course, Tschauner). To tell the truth I don’t want to watch it again to check. With the final kick of the 3 minutes added on Pauli fans almost had something to cheer about, as a shot from Rzatkowski outside the box beat the Bochum goalkeeper but, sadly, not the crossbar. Honours were even with a yellow card apiece – this time it was Maier. What, no Buchtmann, you ask? Well, no, he was missing the game due to already collecting ten of the gelbe karten.  Pauli slip down to 7th in the table, and next face Dynamo Dresden who are 16th.

Song of the week: ‘Wo, Bochum Makes Us Broken-Hearted’ (to the tune of ‘What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted’ by Jimmy Ruffin).

Matchday 20. Arminia Bielefeld 2 (0) – (1)  2  FC St Pauli (Sunday 9th Feb. 12.30 (UK))
So the second half of the season kicks off after the Winterpause with a chance to avenge the defeat from earlier in the season. But some things don’t change. Bielefield get the first chance at goal with a give-away penalty but hit the cross-bar. Pauli come back – first with an attempt straight into the arms of the goalkeeper and then with a masterly passing game from the one half to the end of the other finishing with Thy shooting across the sprawling gate-keeper and into the corner of the net (30mins). Thy will be done (ho ho). Pauli hearts skip a beat when Tschauner goes to catch a ball which jumps out of his grasp and over his head towards goal: he turns on the spot and the ball falls back into his hands safely. He smiles wryly. Ho bloody ho. Phew. And it is with relief, if not surprise, that Pauli get a second in the second half, with a quick counter attack, with a pass from the left wing into the box and the firm foot of Nothe which booms the ball into the back of the net (61mins). Woo hoo. It’s looking good. Apart from the three yellow cards that Pauli manage to accumulate (the first of the Ruckrunde for Buchtmann and his 10th of the season). But then Bielefield get one back; a mix of ramshackle defending and sure-footed Appiah-yay header which defeats Tschauner (70mins). So with 20 mins to go its squeaky bottom time (once again, and probably for not the last time this season). Three minutes of injury time are added. And it is in that time that Bielefield add another goal (with another header from the same player, who must be Appiah than anybody (geddit?)) to their tally and pinch a draw from Pauli’s pocket (92mins). Oh crumbs. Or words to that effect.

Song of the week: ‘Arminia In My Head’ (to the tune of ‘Harmony In My Head’ by The Buzzcocks).

WINTERPAUSE (Dec 2013 – Feb 2014) 

Match day 19:  FC St Pauli 0 – 2 Karlsruher SC (Friday, 20/12/2013 17:30 KO UK).
Pauli look positive early on with shots just off-target (ie inching past the post) or else on target but ineffectual. The game bogs down with frustration with the ref’s decisions which seem to favour the visiting team (how many handballs do SC have to make before a decision is given? How can being sandwiched by three players be a foul against them?) and clear play-acting by SC to stop play. It is however SC that prove effect on the counter attack when the Pauli defence comes apart to let in two soft goals. After the previous two games this is a disappointing match where nothing seems to come together or come off. It seems Pauli are stronger playing away rather than at home! Gah. See the thread on the St Pauli UK Fans Forum.

Match day 18:  1860 München 0 – 2 FC St Pauli (Monday, 16/12/2013 19:15 KO UK)
Another impressive win for Pauli away from home (see last report). With two up front – Nöthe and Bartels – instead of the usual one, FCSP attacked from the off. 1860 had their chances but the defence coped well – if not necessarily confidently – with any attacks. It is probably with bias that Pauli’s efforts stood out – placing the ball in the back of the net early on, only to have it denied by an observant lino for offside. But the deadlock was broken with a swift counter attack from one box to the other; Rzatkowski passing the ball out to Nöthe who beats a defender into the box and punts the ball between the legs of the oncoming Kiraly [*iconic and possibly the oldest goalie in all football and who still wears his trackie-bottoms from the 1970s] to put Pauli a goal up just before half-time (43mins). As the second half progresses it seems more likely that it is Pauli that will get the next goal. Maier takes a free kick outside the box; it beats the wall and Kiraly is helpless, but it hits the post (so hard it comes back out of the box) (75mins). Bartels has a punt outside the box and it goes way wide. It turns out this was a tester – in another counter attacking move Buchtmann passes the ball up to the lone Bartels who rushes onto goal with no support and no option but to go for goal: he shoots, he scores, and it’s another cracker into the top corner (81mins). Yes, yes, yes there is only one ‘F’in Fin Bartels! ! Things end on an eye-watering note when Rzatkowski (who had been playing his heart out and prime contender for man of the match) is taken off after a very late collision/foul on his unmentionables – double ouch! Speedy recovery Marc. The win puts Pauli up into third place in the table. Woo Hoo!

Guest Word of the Week: Doppelschlag (for result and Rzatkowski)

Match day 17: Erziberge Aue 0 – 2 FC St Pauli (Friday, 06/12/2013, 17:30 KO UK)
The hardy fans that travelled to a snowy Aue were treated to a great win by the boys in brown. It was not looking good when Aue were given a soft penalty in the 6th minute. Incredibly Tschauner saved it (the second he has saved this season!) – and it was one of just a number of spectacular saves he made in the game to ensure the win. But within minutes of the penalty save, a lob by Buchtmann from the Pauli half found an onside (there’s only one ‘F’in) Fin Bartels who, with two touches had trapped the ball, run from his marker and lobbed the ball into the top right corner of the Aue goal! A lovely piece of football. And it was (there’s only one ‘F’in) Fin Bartels who opened up the defence in the 25th minute, with a pass across the goal mouth to a free Gregoritsch who simply side foots the ball into the goal. But it was far from over – Aue fought back and forced Tschauner to make several important saves, and another had to be cleared off the line; and there was still time for (there’s only one ‘F’in Bartels) to beat the defence but have his shot just palmed outside of the post. And oh, NO cards for Pauli. Is that a first for this season? Highlights on youtube

Guest Word of The Week: (‘F’in) Fintastisch! 😉

Match day 16: FC St Pauli 0 – 3 FC Köln (Friday, 29/11/2013, 17:30 KO UK)
FCSP start brightly with neat passing and several attempts on goal. It is a little against the run of play that the Billy Goats get their first goal in the 6th minute. Their second goal comes in the 28th minute. It is looking like that FCSP will rue their missed opportunities and perhaps it is their frustration that leads to two yellow cards before half time. The visitors apply the pressure in the second half with shots hitting the post and with Tschauner being called upon to make saves. The Ref sees red in the 59th minute and Gonther leaves the pitch reducing Pauli to 10 men. It looks like an impossible task to get something out of this game – apart for another yellow card – and a third goal for the Goats make it so. (Köln try to even things up by getting two yellow cards).

Guest Word of The Week: Scheiβehose 😦

Match day 15: VfR Aalen 0 – 1 FC St Pauli (Sunday, 24/11/2013, 12:30 KO UK)
One goal (Nöthe, 29mins, misguided man-dible hair), lots of chances for both teams, a few yellow cards (VfR 1-5 FCSP, inc. one for Nöthe, yet another for Buchtmann and one for there’s only one ‘F’in in Fin Bartels) and a sphincter-squealing feisty finale! A well-earned three points and the win moves FCSP up to fourth in the table. This would have no doubt have pleased FCSP chain-smoking legend Walter Frosch who died on 23/11 following a heart attack a few weeks ago, and in whose memory FCSP played wearing back armbands. Respect all round. Highlights here

Guest word of the Week : Hektischeschlussphase!

Match day14.  FC St Pauli 3 – 0 FC Energie Cottbus (Monday 11/11/2103, 19:15 KO UK) 
Just because FCSP are faffing in the upper reaches of 2 Bundesliga whilst Cottbus waft down the bottom don’t think this will be an ‘easy’ one. For FCSP there is no such thing! Both teams come to the game with a change of coach. With the sudden departure of Michael Frontzeck from the head coach’s bench, it is interim coach Roland Vrabec who leads out the team. Of course no one expects sudden changes in form and both teams start out hesitant, sticking to the defensive, whilst taking the odd chance up front, but generally the ball is flippered around in midfield. Buchtmann seems to be sticking to his personal game plan though and duly gets his seventh yellow card of the season. Then it is (there’s only ‘F’ in) Fin Bartels who duly obliges with his sure right foot from fourteen metres out to fool the flailing keeper for FCSP’s first goal under interim-management (35 mins). Woo Hoo! Hey, Ho, Let’s Go! Ahem. At half-time Nehrig replaces a knacked Kalla, but it seems mostly Cottbus in the opening minutes as they press for an equaliser, coming close on two occasions. FCSP strike back and, after a couple of close chances, it is Rzatkowski who sets up Schachten for FCSP’s second (70 Mins). Then three minutes later it is Rzatkowski again who curves a free kick from outside the penalty area and onto the head of a leaping – do my eyes deceive me – Thorandt who, no doubt fighting an impulse to tackle the defender, directs the ball towards the keeper who fails to react quickly enough and it is 3-0 to FCSP (73 mins). Cottbus are not finished yet and press on, coming close again with a couple of chances. So it ends. As another international break looms, FCSP move up to fifth position whilst Cottbus are resigned at the bottom. Highlights on You Tube.

Guest Word of the Week: Lachskönig (for Thorandt)

Frontzeck raus  (6/11/2013)
Frontzeck has been sacked as head coach of FC St Pauli. It seems he said he would leave the Club at the end of the season because it hadn’t met his request for an immediate contract extension. The Club argued that it wanted to see how the club developed under his guidance and to set out a timetable for talks but apparently Frontzeck wouldn’t agree to that. This came as a shock to the Club who then felt that it was no longer able to have a working relationship with Frontzeck. So that’s that then. Possibly, the question on everyone’s lips is – is it time to have a manager with hair, and to ditch the shaven-head coach approach? FCSP News . See also comments on the FC St Pauli Fans UK Forum  

Match day 13.  FC Kaiserslautern 4 – 1 FC St Pauli (Saturday 2/11/2013)
The omens weren’t good for this six-pointer (ok, both teams had 19 points going into this game). Although, incredibly, the game was being shown on BTSports2 it just wasn’t important enough to warrant being shown on one screen in either of the two sports bars we asked in Nottingham. Even Watford took precedence 😉 Also, I lose my St Pauli beanie (my second) on the 39 bus and it isn’t handed in. Grrr. So, hatless, I huddle around a laptop to watch the game in a bar that is showing rugby league, rugby union, chelsea and, erm, watford. By the time the laptop has deigned to warm up FCSP are already 1-0 down (Zoller, 6 minutes). Curses. It doesn’t look promising. I look up to see that Watford go 0-1 down when the keeper tries to kick the ball out and it hits the stray striker in the face and back into the net. Ho ho. At least Pauli don’t do that sort of thing. Ahem.  And it is that FCSP get an equaliser (31 mins) from Kapitan Kalla, with an assist from (there’s only one ‘f’ in) Fin Bartels! So at half-time it is looking even-steven. It’s anybody’s game. Newcastle v Chelsea comes on around the bar , thankfully without commentary as a baggy soundtrack meanders over the PA. After having my melon twisted on a groovy train its back to game that matters. Football, sadly, is a game of two halves and this is FCSP’s downfall. And it’s Kaiser-Zoller who again finds the back of the net and a not dissimilar manner to his first. Perhaps it is a repeat of the first half? No. True it is Pauli that score next but it is a hapless Gonther who deflects the ball into the back of an open goal (65 mins), after it beats a flailing Tschauner: no matter, it would have otherwise fallen to the feet of an unmarked striker. This happens directly from the losing the ball in midfield and failing to challenge successfully. Tschauner too is having a poor game soundly beaten by the ‘lautern strikes. It’s 3-1 and it is looking a tall order to get two goals to get a point. And it is with the last kick of the game that Kaiser-Karl heads a fourth for the home team.  Kaiserlautern cruise to 4th in the table whilst FCSP flounder to 8th.

Guest Word of the Week: Thorandt-Schnitzer (and no yellow card)

Match day 12. FC St Pauli 0 – 0 SV Sandhausen (Friday 25/10/2103, Match day 12)
Just because FCSP are idling at the upper reaches of the table whilst Sandhausen idle at the
lower, and FCSP are playing at home, don’t think this is going to be a walkover. Oh no. What to say about this match? Not one for the history books? One best forgotten? Let’s say it was not the most inspiring of games. For the record, SV were the first to go into the ref’s book. They were also the second and the third. The question was whether they were going to finish with eleven men. FCSP do their best to even things up with a yellow for (there’s only ‘f’ in) Fin Bartels. That was it for the first half.  The only thing worth mentioning about the second half was the deplorable sight of empty rows of seats of the Haupttribüne (Translation: Hospitality and all-seating area) who no doubt were too busy chewing on their canapes to come out for the re-start. Summary: Oh well, at least FCSP didn’t lose.

Guest Word of the Week (goes out to the Grandstand): Prawnbrötchentribune!

On the plus side there was a tremendous turnout at the Z tonight, with lots of visitors dropping in.

11. SpVgg Greuther Fürth 2 – 4 FC St Pauli (Sunday, 20/11/2103, Match day 11)
Newly relegated Fürth (although only enjoying one season in the Bundesliga) looked to be securing promotion once more and so things did not look promising for FCSP away from home. But you can never predict the unpredictable and so it was that Pauli secured a tremendous win with a fine performance in a lively game. FCSP were the first score 12 minutes in, with a sure shot from the right foot of Maier. They stayed on the offensive with Fürth looking for counter attacks which after a further 12 minutes produce an equaliser from Fürth’s Fuerstner. Just before half-time Maier gets into the match report again, this time for a yellow card. Second half and FCSP bring on Schindler for a thigh-strung Nehrig. Five minutes later and he’s on the score sheet and FCSP are 1-2 up. It takes him another eight minutes to get a second, deftly directing the ball into the net off his thigh. It looks like FCSP are cruising to victory at 1-3! Only joking of course because this is St Pauli we are talking about. We need to mention Schindler again as he follows Maier into the book. Then in the 77th minute Fürth get one back. Pauli’s hold on the game is looking shaky, and they collect two more yellow cards in the last 15 minutes. Then, in injury time, Fürth’s Fuernester’s flying flailing foot fouls Thy terribly: he falls, stud-shaped stigmata scarring his chest from a cantona karate kick. It’s a straight red card, no messin’. But there’s still time for one more goal from (there’s only one ‘f’ in) Fin Bartels, and a yellow for Buchtmann (his sixth). Phew.

Guest Word of the Week (for Schindler): Jokerdoppelschlag!

FC St Pauli 1 – 2 SC Paderborn (Friday 4/10/2013, Match day 10)
Have you ever watched a game and wondered why? This was a poor performance from the boys in brown. Perhaps it was the absence of captain Boll, due to the knee-krack he picked up in last week’s game (and won’t be back until after the winterpause) but it was a display of poor passing, poor movement, poor vision etc. Not that Paderborn were much better in the first half.  In the second half the crowd were aroused from stupor with a goal in the 49th minute from Saglik. Sadly, Saglik had moved from FCSP to Paderborn in the summer. Fair play, it was nicely taken and he refused to celebrate it in front of the Millerntor faithful. (Thoughts returned to the time when former FCSPer Deniz Naki came on to score for Paderborn last season). The Millerntor faithful get something to celebrate when substitute Nöthe (coming on in the 56th minute) gets the equaliser in the 66th minute, although the goal is sandwiched between two yellow cards for FCSP (one for the Joker himself).  But it’s no joke when FCSP sloppily lose the ball in the Paderborn half, setting them off a tearing counter attack with unchecked passes all the way into the FCSP penalty area and a neat side foot over the flailing Tschauner and it’s 1-2 in the 78th minute. It’s hard to see FCSP claw anything back and they don’t.

Guest word of the week: überfallartigen (Konter)

A good turn-out at the Z tonight, even with over half of our usual contingent absent or over at the game, with lots of German St Pauli visitors dropping in.

FC Ingolstadt ’04  1 – 2  FC St Pauli (Sunday 29/09/2013, Match day 9)
A win against bottom of the table Ingolstadt saw FCSP rise to fourth position at the end of match day 9.  It was also a game that saw no bookings for FCSP, whilst the home team saw yellow in the second minute. Three minutes later it’s not looking so good as captain, and Füsball Gott, Fabian Boll limped off the pitch with a worrying knee-knack. (Get well soon, Fabian!). ‘04 get another yellow towards the end of the first half but it is not until 2 minutes into injury time that the traveling supporters have something to cheer about with a lovely left-footed shot into the goal from (there’s only one ‘f’ in) Fin Bartels. It’s a psychological killer blow to score just on the whistle says mr pundit, blah blah blah. As the second half progresses there are more substitutions as ‘04 seek a goal – which they get in the 80th minute, with a header from a corner which beats both Tschauner and a Buchtman who seems glued to the goal-line. Grrrr. Defend those set-pieces! It looks like we will have to settle for a draw, if we can hang on. But hang on. In the 86th minute the unbelievable happens – FCSP are awarded a penalty! Right, send up Maier with his sure-foot. But no, it’s Kringe who walks up to take the penalty. He shoots…and the goalkeeper (who seems so far off his line that he is in danger of crossing the centre-circle) saves…but only to palm the ball out for the onrushing Kringe who right-foots it into the net. Phew, it’s 1-2! Two minutes later Maier has a chance to make it 1-3 but hits the cross-bar. And then it’s over. Relief.

Guest Word of the Week: Nasenblutenzeit!

FC St Pauli 1 – 1 Fortuna Düsseldorf (Monday 23/09/2013, Match day 8)
Ever watched a match and then got so drunk that you can’t recall it? Anyway it was, apparently, a lively game with both teams hotly contesting the ball (cliche alert!). That may be why, at half-time, the score stood 0-0 but each team had a yellow card a piece. Düsseldorf came out of the traps first with a goal two minutes into the second half. FCSP took the lead on the card front with Buchtman (no stranger to refs’ books this season) receiving a yellow in the 70th minute; then, inexplicably, a straight red for Thorandt (no stranger to the ref’s books any season) in the 81st.  It seemed that Thorandt was simply pushing off someone who had stood on his foot but the ref must have seen something aggressive in it. No one else did. Whatever, this must have helped fire up the team for, in 82nd minute Kringe sent a right footed ball into the net. The aggrieved crowd went wild! Düsseldorf narrowly missed the goal in the final minutes but at the final whistle it ended 1-1.  After all games played on matchday 8, FCSP dropped one place down to 7th in the table.

This week’s guest word: Rätselrot

FC St Pauli 2 – 1 FSV Frankfurt (Friday 14/09/2013, Match day 7)
After the yawning of the international break it was a slow start for FCSP, with Verhoek taking all of three minutes to get the first goal of the game! There was, however, a feeling of caution amongst us given the outcome of the last match. But it could have been two goals – if the lino hadn’t seen an offside. Oh well. Then a second goal did come in the 58th minute from Rzatkowski. Woo hoo! 2-0 up. Things were looking good – until the 63rd minute when FCSP scored an own goal and Tschauner was booked. Now 2-1, substitutions and cards followed (two yellows to FCSP and two yellows and red to FSV) as the game became feisty. But FCSP held on for victory. Overall it was a satisfying win that, after the 7th game day, saw FCSP in 6th position in the table. Forza St Pauli!

This week’s guest word: Krankenhausball

Breaking News – Pliquett put out to Graz :[(
Benedikt Pliquett is off to Sturm Graz. Though he rarely got a first team game he put in a fantastic performance to secure the historic 0-1 derbysieg win against H$V in 2011. And who can forget the iconic image of him kicking the corner flag in celebration? Legend.

Kick it like Bene

Kick It Like Bene

Union Berlin 3 – 2 FC St Pauli (Sat. 31/08/2013 Match day 6)
Oh dear, what a game. In an awful reversal of last week it goes from Woo Hoo! and Double Woo Hoo! to Oh No, Bugger, and, finally, Despair (but no surprise).  So the game kicks-off and in 35 seconds Verhoek scores, in what suspiciously looks like  a practiced and co-ordinated move, and Pauli are ahead! Can we possibly hold on to this lead, so early in the game? The minutes tick away. And then Bartels, with a sublime curving shot, gets another. Pauli are two nil up in the first six minutes. What is happening? Are they all drinking the energy boosting drink of their sponser? Pauli apply the pressure and it is almost three but Rzatkowski shoots over the bar. Sigh. Has normal service been resumed? Sadly yes. Thorandt puts his boots in, gives away a penalty and goes into the book. But hold on, last week didn’t Tschauner save a penalty? So it should be poss,,,,,,,,,,,oh, poo, it’s in the back of the net. So half-time ends 1-2. A slight loss of momentum on Pauli’s part and the home team must feel good for having clawed one back with 45 minutes to go. And they come out hell for leather. It’s looking touch and go. Argh! Union get an equaliser on the 59 minute mark. Now it’s finger-crossing/fingernail-eating time. The clock winds down (or whatever it is that digital time does). It winds down to the 86th minute when time seems to go into slow motion – as a Union-headed ball bulges the back of the Pauli onion-sack. It’s all over bar the three minutes of injury time. And then it is over.

In summary, a Dream Opening and a Nightmare Finish. Not so much ‘gut’ as ‘gutted’. In fact, sehrgutted.

FC St Paul 2 – 1 Dynamo Dresden (Monday 26/8/2013 Match day 5)
Crikey what a game. From despair to relief, back to despair, then surprise, joy and mighty woo-hoo! 0-0 at half-time, it is Dynamo, currently in chaos, with an interim manager and without a win, that go into the lead with a header and an almighty fumble from Tschauner with ball bouncing off him into the goal. Tragic; comic. Then within minutes its 1-1, with a crafty lob/miscue from Kringe. Then, oh my, a penalty to Dynamo. It’s over now surely. But no, the bequiffed one makes a fantastic save. It’s not over yet. The clock ticks away. Ok, will settle for a draw. And then a free kick to Pauli outside the Dresden penalty area. Substitute Maier comes on, looks down at the ball, and his first touch sends the ball clear of the wall and into the back of the net. What the cripes was that?  I mean, WOO-HOO! Incredible. See highlights here For a proper game review go the St Pauli UK Fans Forum

So, in honour of der Joker Maier, this week’s Guest Word of the Week is: Sonntagscschuss

VfL Bochum 2 – 2 FC St Pauli (Friday 16/8/2013 Match day 4)
Phew. What a game. Bochum go into the lead then FC St Pauli strike back with two lovely goals from new striker Verhoek before half-time. Double woo hoo! A one goal lead is always worrying and, surely enough, Bochum equalise meaning a nail-biting end to the game. But one point away at Bochum will do nicely thank you. (On the yellow card front it’s 5-4 to FC St Pauli, although Buchtmann fails to get in the book for the first time this season. Yep, it’s a roller-coaster ride with the boys in brown!).

In deference to Verhoek the Guest Word of the Week is Bogenlampe.

FC St Pauli 0 –  1 Arminia Bielefeld (Sunday 11/8/2013 Match day 3)
Sigh. One win. One draw. And now one loss (or two if we count last week’s Cup ‘run’). The only constant seems to be the picking up of yellow cards, with Buchtmann going into the book at every game. We can moan about the ref for not giving decisions our way such as a clear penalty but…oh well, let’s moan…For comments on the game, and a review from someone who was there, see our Forum at St Pauli – Arminia Bielefeld

Due to frustration with the ref the Guest Word of the Week is Pfeiffreudigerschiedsrichter.

Peußen Münster  1 – 0  FC St Pauli (Sunday 4/8/2013, Pokal Round 1)
Sigh. Same procedure as every year. FC St Pauli show their contempt for annual trophy chasing and give lower league opposition the chance to live the dream and earn a bit of dosh i.e. Pauli crash out of the VW Cup. On display was the familiar combination of too much faffing (Herumdaddeln) in the opposition box draining away any possibility of an attack, poor dead ball kicks that barely skimmed the top of the grass and which only troubled the shins of the nearest defender, shots on goal that were off-target and converted into the stands, and naff defending (cry-inducingly comical in parts).  Still, now we can focus on staying up (again). Sigh.

Karlsruher SC  0 – 0  FC St Pauli (Saturday 27/7/2013 Match day 2)

FC St Pauli  1 – 0  1860 München (Friday 19/7/2103 Match day 1)